Aromatherapy

So I have worked in an aromatherapy store now for three days, and I have to say I think it is absolutely fabulous. Never in my life have I been so happy. To talk to people who are interested in finding alternative ways to soothe their lives, whether it is through a bath, a massage or simply inhaling the scent of an essential oil really does make me appreciate my fellow man a bit more.

Of course I had an interest in aromatherapy before I started this job. However, I have discovered so many new things over the last three days I don't even know where to begin. Another thing is I come home and I smell so good. And I feel really good. It's a big change from sitting at a desk for the last year, so standing all day is a bit tiring, but I feel very focused when I do my yoga now. More so now than before.

I even had the luxury of meeting a chef doing his practicum at one of the more prominent high end restaurants (which incidently is next door to where I work) who is looking at incorporating essential oils into his cooking, to bring about a more intense and interactive experience.

I had purchased an aromatherapy book a few months ago, and I think now that I am in the position to purchase oils at a bit of a discount (hello, of course there are perks) I am going to start to experiment. As I discover things and come up with some recipes, I'll post them.

Because I WANT to.

I've been reading some very interesting articles on environment, genetically modified foods, over population, over consumption and over all destruction of virtually everything we humans come into contact with.

Goodness, we are rather destructive aren't we. And as I read these articles, these comments and papers, as I view clips and snippets of seminars by various experts on the subject, my heart sinks and my urge of competition, my urge to do my part at it's fullest, most best, better, PERFECT crushes me as I realize that until our society as a whole, we people as a whole see this, come together and work on it as one, the journey will be a long and arduous one.

Why. Why in my defeatist state do I believe this to be arduous? Because we live in a culture of Want. Need is something that has been lost. We have come to only know want. Like the first born child with a new sibling, need is casually eclipsed by the shiny new invention. WANT. Its almost biblical in proportions, the way we clamour onto these wasteful, short lived products of uselessness, acting as if this thing will save us from ourselves. Salvation through consumption I suppose.

But Need. What does that mean?

The basic need of clothing, shelter, food. Not excessive clothing, expansive shelter and wasteful, harmful, chemically filled, genetically altered food.

And I am defeated because I am guilty. Oh, so very guilty. I over consume, I over spend, I over extend. I am part of the problem. But today, I've decided I would like to be part of the solution. Long and arduous? Its a challenge I am willing to take on.

Go outside today, Gwyn. Look at the mountains. Look at the ocean. Look at the sky. This is your home. Not your apartment in the West Side, but this. All of this. Look at it all. And try. One step at a time, work towards living a more ecologically healthy life.

Simple Moment

During my meditation over the weekend I was suddenly overwhelmed by the sound of birds. And instead of digging deeper into the sound of silence which is so often desired during a meditation, I pushed my mind out and around to the outdoors that were just feet away from me in search of sweet song.

I happened to be sitting in the apartment of my friend, and was very aware of the sound of his breathing (he was still sleeping). I was then intently aware of the noises coming from outside. The hum of the power washer motor, the scratching hiss of water being sprayed against a surface. The sound of cars passing in front of my sleepy friend's windows, tossing sound about with little care as to where it lands, the high pitch squealings of people shrieking with malovelent discontent at each other as they pass by. The pollution of sound overwhelmed me that I was almost ready to abandon my meditation due to the intense racket when I heard it. Amidst the cacaphony, a sound so delicate and quiet and yet so pure in intent it almost hurt. A sweet song of birds. And it took me by surprise.

Why? Why would the simple song of a bird have me reeling? Step outside into your back yard, your patio, stick your head out your window. You hear people yelling, cars driving, saws and power washers humming. These sounds grab your attention, leaving your ears to be boxed by the fists of everyday hustle and bustle. And then, almost like magic, if your ears reach far into the recesses of your outside world, you will hear it. And you will realize just as the bitter smelling tea you are about to drink is suprisingly sweet, the world out there, amidst the haste and noise, has taken pause through the most delightful sound.

For a good five minutes I focused on the sounds of these little birds. What kind where they, I do not know. How many were there? I would say there were a few different kinds. What were they saying? It is likely I will never know. All I do know is that moments like these have me realize that even when being surrounded by an environment that assaults the senses, there is somewhere deep within, a breathtaking moment of peace and serenity.

Mind+Body * Yoga = Balance

Yoga and I have a long history. My first ever introduction to yoga that I can recall was when I was taking a dance class up at SFU. Our dance instructor was adamant that yoga and pilates were the way to go in order to build stronger, more flexible bodies especially for dance. This was in 1996.

Yoga had been around for approximately 2000 years by this point in time and pilates a good 60 plus years. While pilates was practically unheard of except in dance and theatre communities (especially in places like NYC), yoga was making a little bit of a mainstream dent over here on the West Coast but still had a bit of the stigma of being 'weird'. I went to my local bookstore and picked up a nice glossy book on yoga asanas (poses), I have no idea what the title of the book was, and sadly I lent it to someone and never got it back. I started practicing at home and felt that this was a wonderful form of exercise and my body took to it quite well. I had been a long distant runner for about 2 years at this point and found that yoga was a nice complementary exercise.

I was taking Theatre in 2001 in college and part of the program was yoga and pilates. I loved it. But around this time with much stress in my life - drugs, drinking excessively, smoking, eating a couple of times a week, distructive relationships with people and myself, heavy courseload - my body began to simply shut down. In November 2002, my vision started to go. I was having intense migraines. I lost feeling in my left side. My strength was gone. I was so tired. I ended up withdrawing from school in December, and never completed my Theatre program. I was bed ridden for about 6 weeks and spent up until April basically learning how to use my body again. I could walk but I would fall down because my legs would give out. I would spend hours trying to push myself off the floor, until my pride would step aside and I would have to ask for help getting up. I cried so much. I was in so much physical and emotional pain I thought I was going to die.

I had test after test done. But they couldn't find anything wrong. I ended up going back to school in April of 2003 because I couldn't stand being home all the time and being on Income Assitance depressed me greatly. I finished my Diploma in General Arts and went to University. But then other problems started to happen. Because I was stationary for so long my bowels and bladder started to react adversely, and threw themselves into fullfledged IBS.

I found a Doctor who then started giving me Vitamin B shots (due to malnourishment I am sure) and supplemental medicines for my bowels and bladder. I tried some various exercises, and over time my body, although very tired, was responding to the vitamins. I started walking more, exercising more and attempted yoga and pilates again. I tried working but one of the many 'issues' would flare up and I couldn't keep a job. Then I caught the "flu" in 2004 just like I had the first time in 2002. I freaked out. I thought I was going to relapse into hell. My Doctor (I didn't have one the first time I was ill) retested me for some of the more major illnesses out there. In the end it was my mother who said 'Test her Thyroid'. The Doctor agreed, even though my test was done last Spring with negative results. The results were back and lo, 2 years later almost to the day they discovered my problem, hypothyroidism. And the major cause? STRESS. My doctor sat down with me and told me that I needed to cut out the stress in my life. It was going to be the death of me otherwise. I asked him about yoga. He told me that it would be an excellent idea. My weight was up too, due to my metabolism affected by the thryoid and yoga would be a perfect exercise regime without taxing the body too much.

So I started my practice. Slow at first. I had gone and seen a nutritionist to help me with my diet, as my IBS was out of control. Together we came up with a diet that would work well with my situation and my yoga. I practiced everyday. I read books. I watched programs. I meditated. I discovered that my body WAS strong, and could become stronger. Gently I pushed my body to do things I had only dreamed about. But not only were the physical aspects amazing, but the psychological. My mind became clear. I let go of things, in my mind and in my heart. As I let things go, I got better. In as little as 8 weeks my thyroid test indicated that I had normal levels. My Doctor was amazed. He told me what ever I was doing, keep it up. I practiced continually for almost a year. During this time I left my husband, as I realized that my marriage and the social dynamic around it was contributing majorly to my stress. I still had stress, but I was able to deal with it more healthfully, and as a result with little repercussion.

I stopped practicing in November 2005 due to an experience I had that put me off of the culture, and due to life just getting in the way. My health has been good, but not great. I am miserable in my job, and I found myself getting bitter, and falling into bad habits. I started to gain weight. My body was sluggish and tired and I ached more. I saw a trend happening. I re-visited my reasons for stopping and realized that they were unfounded. I realized that I needed it more now because I was experiencing many challenges in my life right now. I started up again. I know that yoga makes me feel better. Better about myself, and about the world even. And its working. Even after a few weeks, my body and mind are responding to it. I can't believe I went as long as I have without it.

The breathing brings about peace. The asanas strengthen, tone and cleanse the body, ridding it of toxins, and they force you to focus on one thing at a time. Meditation has you empty your mind, and helps you come to realize what underlying things are burrowed deep inside and being harboured. It shows you these harboured 'illnesses' and you learn to let go, you learn to accept. After a while, yoga becomes a part of your everyday life. You meditate when you walk, you do breathing exercises when you feel your temper rise, or anxious. You practice loving kindness towards your advasaries. Your body responds well to it because you've allowed it to release these emotional and physical toxins. Suddenly your body will instinctively do things to make it work better. I did the crocodile pose without conscious thought the other day when I felt overwhelmed. My body craves twists when I feel sluggish in the bowels. My mind hestitates enough so I can realize what I am about to say and how it will affect the other person.

Something as simple as a balancing exercise can tell me how my mind and body are connected. I stand on one foot and place my heel against my thigh and bring my hands together in prayer at my heart - the tree pose. Some days I can stand there for hours it seems. I am connected. Other days, not so much. I struggle to keep balance, my heel keeps slipping, I feel awkward in the pose. This tells me my mind is on something else, that my body and mind are separate. I address these things simply by spending time with my mind and 'sort out the mess' in a contemplative way. I am no longer a stranger in my body, and my body is not foreign to my mind. The two work in harmony to keep balance. To keep peace of mind, and body.

This explanation may not be scientific, and there are lots of those kinds of articles out there that indicate that yoga is good for you. Yoga Journal is a great place to start, where many well educated and trained people talk about yoga in all its forms, styles and capacities.

Everyone's experience with yoga is different. But that is how yoga came to convince me it works. Honestly I can't imagine that I would have ever come to where I am today if it weren't for yoga. It may sound a bit zealous, but it's true.

It changed my life. It helped me get it back.

Yoga: Crocodile Pose

Things seem to be swirling around as of late. Energies are thick and emotions seem to be running high out there, world. What's up? I sense that perhaps going back to school, the end of summer, beginning of the reap in preperation for the winter's sleep are all making us anxious. People are scurrying, hurrying, neglecting themselves, but not a neglect due to the kindness towards others. Almost a vacant drunken bumblesque behaviour.

I feel this way right now. It seems that when I stop and think how this action will affect this person HERE, I am totally stepping on the toes of this person over THERE. Bumping into things, overwhelmed by the energies around me; so many people trying to escape but realize they have their chores and tasks to do and so trampling is not out of the question here, as you run me over with your baby cart, darting across the street full of whizzing cars; the careless meanderings and bumping into's, giving disgusted looks because for an instant you know you were responsible for your own trippings, but decided to save face by passing the blame: 'How dare you occupy this space, when it was fully intended that I would occupy it at the same time.'

Needless to say, I felt totally exhausted when I got home yesterday. I went to Granville Island to drop off my bookkeeping work and went on a little sojourn to FINLANDIA - MY MOST FAVOURITE VITAMIN STORE to pick something up for my mother. I run into my building, open my apartment door, close it and lock it.

Sigh. Time for a Yoga practice.

You would think that this would be a welcoming idea, getting downward dog and sun salutation'ed, erasing all that tension. But I couldn't shake it. The downward dog made me feel more tired, my little warm up that I do made me dizzy. I felt so overwhelmed, I laid down on my stomach and placed my head on my folded arms in front. Ahh, the Crocodile Pose.

As defined by Yoga Journal:

Crocodile Pose: This is a deceptively simple posture that can deliver dramatic benefits. Relax on your stomach with arms folded on the floor above your head. Similar to Savasana (Corpse Pose), in which you lie face-up, Crocodile Pose allows you to release all of your tension, but because it puts your belly and face to the ground, it can make a socially anxious person feel less exposed and vulnerable. In Crocodile Pose, you can practice yogic breathing (consciously using your diaphragm), which feels both calming and empowering.

(find link here).

After about 3 minutes of resting in this pose and focusing on my breathing, I was able to do a small, productive practice. All that tension and stress was almost gone (hey, I am not perfect at this you know) and was able to go back out into the world to complete my other errands.

So folks, if you feel a bit like you are just about ready to fly apart, collect yourself with a good ol' Crocodile Pose and feel good as new.

Vitamins!

I had gone and purchased more vitamins on Friday at Finlandia. Now, I love health food/herbal pharmacies. They have tinctures and capsules and more tinctures and drinks and weird concoctions that you consume or insert (!) or what have you in all different colors, shapes, packaging, you name it. But one thing I have never experienced ever in my life is the following:

I went to Finlandia on Broadway to look at getting some detoxification products. I wasn't (and still aren't) interested in doing a total fast, mostly because I don't think that kind of interruption with what delicate balance I have in terms of the digestive system would do me any good. The herbalist there asked me if I needed any help. I told him that I had basically quit drinking (yes I quit drinking, save red wine), and that I had quit smoking (yup I did that too) and was looking for something to cleanse these toxins out of my body because I was starting a new health regime and wanted to do some cleaning before the fall. But. I have a thyroid condition, and because of that I am concerned a detox may interfere with what I am taking.

'No problem!' he says. 'Let's ask the pharmacist. She'll tell you if it's alright.' Whaaa? This is freaking amazing! I looked at him and said thanks that would be awesome. So the pharmacist asked me my dose and what kind of thyroid medication it was, looked at the ingredients of the two things I was looking at and told me no, these things won't interfere. So I picked up a liver 'toner' to cleanse my poor beaten liver and a tea that cleans the blood and lymphatic system. But what impressed me the most was the fact that I was able to go and pick something and have it verified by a pharmacist whether or not it would conflict with my current medications.

Honestly it made my journey into natural supplements a little less hair raising. Before I had to take my thyroid medication I never had to worry, but since after I started taking it, I felt limited because I wasn't informed enough on the affects that this particular medication would suffer if I took various herbal remedies.

Anyway, in the end I was pleased to be able to start taking various supplements that will help get my body back on track a bit. And the update on the flu, it's still gone. I was tired a bit Friday and Saturday but today I feel more than 100% which is great. I think that was the shortest flu I have ever endured.

Sickness? BEGONE!

Well, I am pleased to announce that I seem to have exorcised this flu that I had over the last few days or so. Looking back on it (which is always interesting) I could sense my body resisting it before the weekend, and then because of the intense class I took on Saturday and reserves depleted, I went under.

Being totally exhausted on Sunday night (due more to an intolerance of what I was eating/drinking than illness, but none the less still affecting how I felt), taking Monday off thinking that would be the worst of it, feel a little drained Tuesday, but then feeling the rise of a mega sore throat/flu on Wednesday during the day (you know the kind that feels like it will last FOREVER?) to feeling like utter crap Wednesday night/Thursday morning to then perform on Thursday morning what my friend endearingly calls 'voodoo magick' only to cure it. Right then.

Yup. It's gone.

Since about 11:30am yesterday and holding on fast. Amazing.